It was a Thursday afternoon in late June last year, Revd Hilary and myself were off on our retreat before being ordained Priest; nervous and anxious we chatted and laughed so much so that we missed our turning to Sheffield where the retreat was been held. Well, when two or three clergywomen are gathered together there is bound to be some chatting.
Revd Hilary had a calmness about her and I do know that she was nervous but she hid it remarkable well, unlike myself!
It wasn’t just the prospect of ordination that was making me anxious, it was the fact that it was a silent retreat. It’s not that I like the sound of my own voice; it is just that silence for me at least, is difficult and it stretches me and makes me uncomfortable. It is a challenge, for in stillness and silence we are given the time and space to think and reflect. It is a time to look within ourselves and come face to face with aspects of our character that might not be pleasing to God. And in that silence, it is then that God’s voice can be heard.Copyright St Elisabeths.
Some of you might share those feelings of finding silence challenging, some it might come naturally and find no problem in quiet contemplation and Communion. Sometimes I wonder how I ever heard God at all being one for noise and bustle. But there is a need no matter who we are and what our calling is, to get away, to have some quiet time and recharge our batteries. Even people like me need that every now and again. Time and space seem to be luxuries in this day and age so during Lent there is a sense of slowing down, of quiet reflection and to re-evaluate our love for God and to hear God’s loving voice. This is in one sense a time of retreat.
Lent is not the time of bad news that comes before the Good news of Easter. It is a time of Grace, yes we do tend to reflect on our sins and our mortality, but as we do that, it is also the time about finding our God again. The God who can re create and renew. A power in which we are all saved. Lent is a chance to start again.
According to the Genesis story of Adam and Eve, humanity fell but through Christ Adam’s actions are made new and are redeemed. Humanity is redeemed again by the New Adam – Christ.
Through Christ and during this time of Lent we can let go of all those deep feelings of failure and unworthiness. We can start to be set free from the prison of fear and anxiety. Having the courage to let these things go and hand them over to God’s merciful love is for some very difficult, but in stillness and prayerful communion with God we can make a start.Copyright St Elisabeths.
In one respect we have to have the courage to walk into our own wilderness and embrace the silence in which God’s guiding voice will be heard. When it happens, this experience is unique to you; only you. No one can hear what is being said between you and God, it is private. God’s voice imparting his will is your own property and it will be different for all of you. Even my call to Ordained ministry was done in a different way than my colleagues.
Copyright St Elisabeths.
There is an element of bravery in entering into silent communication with God; you and I might find us unbearably close to our own “demons”, demons that torment us. Our mental demons are terrifying but at some point there is a need to face them and find a way to banish them.Copyright St Elisabeths.
The gospel reading today shows us a way to start this, Christ showed us how, but for him it is played out like a dramatic supernatural film. Jesus the Man comes face to face, maybe not physically, but emotionally with Satan. He faces his demons as he makes a choice and it is a dilemma. This then is a pivotal moment. How was he going to react to these temptations? What was his role? What type of person does the divine son need to be? There is a choice here and only listening to the Father can help him through it. Jesus’ vocation, his calling and his character are all tested severely. Was he going to let himself be the type of Christ who will use his powers to help himself, enjoying the adulation and the glory, revelling in the prospect of becoming a front page headline in the Jerusalem Evening News (Galilee edition)? It would have been so easy for him to be selfish and self-promoting. But Christ, listening to the still small voice of God in his forty days and forty nights in the wilderness made a decision to rely on God’s word and live in service to the father. In doing so he was going to leave himself open to criticism, suspicion, human intimation and torture. No front-page headline, more middle page photo fit of someone thought of as a criminal and a dangerous revolutionary.
Copyright St Elisabeths.
Even pushed to the very limits of human endurance in the wilderness the voice of God is clear; he casts evil aside and puts himself in God’s grace.
It’s a difficult path of discipleship to follow but through Jesus’ experiences in the human side of his nature, we, in this story are invited to share in his experience.
Here is an example of what it means to be faithful in our own lives. A time of self-discovery of God’s will for us. This Lent take time to be still. Come to church a little earlier to pray or to give your self quiet time. Use this holy space and afford yourself silence. It may be difficult but only through silence can we hear God and ask God to guide us through our eventful journey of faith.Copyright St Elisabeths.
Amen
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